Saturday, November 10, 2007
By Ramone - November 9, 2007
Back on October 18th, I was working at the computer and Timothy was playing around by himself on the play-mats. He couldn't crawl yet (actually, he just started today!) but he could get on his knees and basically twist & roll wherever he wanted to. He wanted to go near these records we have, but I didn't want him to go there mainly because they're a bit dusty and moreover there are electrical wires behind them. I don't want him to play with electrical wires!
So I told him, "No!"
He kept going. I said it again, more forcefully.
He stopped and looked at me. Then he started to go towards the records again, and I said it more forcefully, "No!"
He stopped. He still wanted to go, and he was looking at me as if telling me he wanted to go, begging me to go. I said "No, Timothy" firmly and serious.
He began to cry! He did not move. He obeyed me, but he looked at me and cried! It was such a pitiful sight, and I can't express how much I was moved and touched! Oh what a loud cry, but oh how proud I was of him! He cried and was sad, but he obeyed! His love and respect for me poured out through his tears and obedience, and his tears let me know that he understood.
I just can't explain how much love instantly burst open inside of me when this happened. I was so moved, so touched, so proud. I love this boy! In my mind now I can still see that beautiful, pitiful crying face! And I am still moved with love as I remember it! I am still melted with love for him.
I think Father God must feel the same way about us. He tells us things for our own good, and it takes awhile for us to learn, so He disciplines us. At times it hurts and we cry -- and we don't have to hold back our tears. In fact, like David in the Psalms, we can cry out to the Lord and ask "Why?"
Little Timothy was sharing his heart with me. He recognized that I was his father and he should obey, but he poured out his grief to me about it, and something in me just burst out in torrents of love and pride for him.
I had to go pick him up, not merely to stop his crying, but to love him, tell him I loved him, and squeeze him with love. I think when we open our hearts to God and pour out our hearts to Him --whether in joyful praise or in questioning grief-- he feels like I did when Timothy's tears poured out because he understood my discipline. He loves us and wants us to know His love. He squeezes us with His love. Responding to His discipline (not by merely obeying, but by pouring out our heart to Him about it) makes our Daddy want to pour out His heart to us.
I love this promise. I love His heart, I love His promise to pour out His heart!
"If you had responded to My rebuke,This is the original sketch I made later that day because I wanted to remember. The sketch looks a bit better. Truthfully, my pictures of Timothy are pretty terrible, ha! I catch the impression, but not his cuteness or resemblance. So this semi-gesture style sketch is better in that respect:
I would have poured out My heart to you
and made My thoughts known to you."
- Proverbs 1:23
While I was photographing the color picture, Timothy crawled over (he can crawl today!) and inserted his real self into the picture, hehe. Too cute.
Perhaps this is him giving his opinion of the picture? (^_^) Hehe.