Monday, July 16, 2007
Timothy
By Ramone - July 9, 2007
It's taken me awhile to write about this picture, but when a brother on an online forum asked me to share how God was showing me himself through my son and fathering him, I finally typed it up:
Hi brother Don & saints,
When Don asked me to share a portion of seeing the Father through raising my son Timothy, for just a minute it was difficult to think of what to share. There are so many things He's shown me through my son -- things He's shown about myself, about humans, and about Him. I'm a little worried that I might actually forget some of these lessons because I don't write them all down! But when choosing one to share, I chose a very personal one for me -- when God revealed Himself through my son.
I tried drawing it in a picture once, but it really doesn't look like my son at all, although I do like the colors and style...
I wanted to draw him smiling. I wanted to show his joy. But alas, there's nothing like the real thing--my real son! A picture can't quite catch the awesome, joyful reality of him.
We were at a department store back in July because we needed to buy an air conditioner, and my wife had to talk to the staff there and do some paperwork to buy it and arrange for its delivery & installation. Meanwhile, Timothy was awake and I didn't want him to get too bored. So I was wheeling him around in his baby carriage up and down the aisles of the department store.
And the whole time I did this I was looking at him and he was looking at me just SMILING at me! Smiling at me with this most pure joyful JOY. He was soooo, so, sooo happy! He gets happy whenever he seems me when I come home from work. Or whenever he hasn't seen me in awhile. (For awhile it was so much that my wife got playfully jealous, haha, but it's balanced out recently).
As I wheeled him around the store that day, I was just overwhelmed by this massive, pure, accepting love coming from my son. What did I do to deserve this? Why does he love me so much? He can't see inside of me. But he just loves me for who I am, because I'm his Daddy, his Papa.
As I wheeled around I began to cry because I realized that God was loving me through my son. God is in my son just like He is in me. God was showing me His unconditional love for me! My son accepts me and loves me with the most pure, purest love imagineable. Isn't childrens' love amazing? It's so pure. There is no falsehood in their love. It's just pure joy and affection. They don't see the dark parts of your heart. They don't know the things you've done. They don't know and they don't care. They just love you.
And that's how God loves me! That's how He loves us. I grew up feeling rejection for different reasons... God has brought me through a lot of forgiveness and healing, and He's given me love and a lot of restoration in my relationships. But now He's also bringing me more healing and joy through my son. I think one of the reasons my son seems to lavish so much love on me in particular is because God knew I needed it! I needed that pure, loving, unconditional affection.
God loves me just as purely as my son does and even more. But the amazing, amazing awesome difference is that unlike my son, God also sees everything I've ever done or ever thought! He has seen my darkness! He has seen my soul naked. He has seen my shame. And yet He still loves me with the childlike joy and love of my son!
Remember how Jesus said that we need to become like children to enter the Kingdom? Think about that. What does that mean? In order to go to heaven, don't we need to be filled with God's Spirit? Isn't God's Spirit actually working to make us more like Him? Aren't we becoming more like our God?
When Jesus said "become like children", He wasn't just telling us to become like children, but He was telling us to become like God. Because that pure love we see in children is God's pure love!
So I just enjoy this Godly love I receive from my son. (^_^) It is so beautiful and I marvel at its purity. This is the love of God. And God also knows all my terrible secrets, yet He loves me just like this babe of mine, purely. Amazing. Amazing God. God, You are amazing.
Blessings in His pure love,
Ramone
# posted by Ramone @ 11:32 PM 
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