Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Those Cracks
By Ramone - February 7, 2006
Sometimes you don't notice that you've been feeling "blah" for a good while until you come into His presence deeper and say, "My, where have I been!" It was after one of those times that I saw this picture while praying. I was ascending the escalators to my prayer spot... I'd already been battered by temptations and had been struggling for a period of time, but I found renewed energy to just throw that stuff off and praise God.
As I was praying up there on the walls, I thought of my weaknesses and how I sometimes feel like I never seem to fully overcome them and their cycles. It was then that I felt Him say to me, "It's through those cracks that My glory flows", and I pictured it like this.
I am humbled by You, Lord! You know my cracks, my weaknesses, those things that torment me. And I know I'm not to give up on them and that You have healing for me. Yet You say it is through these very places that You shine, that You flow!
I normally want to hide my "cracks", but it God says it's through these places that He shines. That means I shouldn't hide. My friend Eric found the truth of 1st John 1:7 when he was going through a hard time that he had to share with many people.
"If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin."
Walking in the light means not being afraid of being seen. He can redeem every darkness in our lives, so don't resist Him when His Spirit leads you to share with someone you trust about how you're struggling and need help (note: follow His Spirit on that -- don't just open up to anyone unless He's telling you!). Both James and John wrote about how He's desiring for us to share our weaknesses with one another, and that this is His humble path to healing for us.
A few side notes:
A couple of days after I finished this picture and knew what it meant, I ran across a quote on Makoto Fujimura's blog and got permission to put it here. It came as beautiful confirmation to what He was telling me about my weaknesses.
Also, when I made a first sketch of this while praying, I knew it wasn't finished & needed more. On the train on the way home I tried spreading the gray sketch ink with some water, but it messed it up. I ended up doing three more versions that night while on the train and at home (when I really should've been occupied with my wife and her friend who was staying with us). Finally I let it go and smacked myself because I'd been trying to "get it right" outside of His presence, outside of that place of pitiful prayer where I'd been before! Perhaps the next day or a few days later I went humbly back to the Lord and was able to draw the fifth version (it's by His grace that I received, and by His grace I must draw!).
It still needed something, though. Yoko saw it and said it needed more light on the places, so I added that. When you walk into a place and you know He's going to shine through you, it's good and reassuring to know that His sun is also shining independent of you! And His sun never stops shining! He will shine through your cracks, He will pour Himself and His life through Your weak places. Don't be afraid to let them be seen. Don't hide them. There is a reason He lets us have cracks sometimes!
"He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
- 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
# posted by Ramone @ 7:25 PM 
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