Tuesday, January 24, 2006

 

The Closet




By Ramone - January 21, 2006

This is an idea I started playing with in a sketch back in November 2004 after reading "With Christ in the School of Prayer" by Andrew Murray. He talked about how Jesus told us Father was waiting for us in the closet, in our private place, and that as we go there our first understanding must be that God is there waiting for us and wants to meet us even more than we want to meet Him. The reward is Him, His presence.

I put the figure through various positions in my old black & white sketch, and finally shelved it for later. When in a spree of small pad sketching recently, the picture came back but this time with the worshipper in color, rainbow color. I thought of it as being filled with His presence there in the closet, being filled with Him in ironic contrast to the dark closet.

As I write this it's February 26th. Last night I went to a church meeting and felt I should take some certain pictures with me, although I didn't want to show them to anyone that night really. As I flipped through them on the train, I was in His presence and wanting to be in His presence with Him more, and I came upon this picture and understood it:

"You, You, Lord, alone with You,
You fill me with color, Lord.
Thank You."

(And You fill me with light!)


Comments:
I painted this over 15 years ago as a picture of freedom and joy in the “prayer closet”—that place of private prayer and worship where it’s just you and God.

As I painted it, or afterward, I worried that it would be interpreted as if the rainbow-ish colors were like pride flags. At the time I didn’t believe it was right to be gay, so I didn’t want the picture to be understood that way.

Well, to make a long story short, I eventually shelved my sureness in that belief and ceased judging as much as I was able, trying to love but wasn’t able to affirm. So finally had a conversation with God about it (it went something like the “conversation” I posted 5 days ago) and now, well, I can see what I couldn’t see before—the beauty and gift of His love and grace that He has given to us in all of His LGBT+ children.

Now, as I look back on this picture, I can see that it wasn’t accidental that the person “in the closet” was in rainbow colors like a pride flag.

He sees them there “in the closet”, where too many have had to stay because of the rejection they’ve faced from “God’s people”, and from their resulting confusion about being who they are.

In moments there “in the closet”, many love Him and worship Him, and long to be free to be who they are “outside of the closet” without having to veil the beauty God has put in them. They long to shine as God made them to shine, and their colors are made to give beauty to the Church and to the world.

Please pray for those who are “in the closet” and afraid to be unveiled outside. Pray for their strength, for their affirmation, and for them to know how much God loves them for who they are.

And please pray for those “outside” who can’t see their beauty and the gift that they are, who are afraid to see the beautiful spectrum of color that God has put in them. Pray for the eyes of their hearts to be opened, to love and embrace them, in Jesus’ name and love.
 

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