Friday, October 14, 2005
By Ramone - October 9, 2005
**Disclaimer: Not for the faint of heart**
It's taken me awhile to write about this one (as I write this it's actually November 11th). It's a gift that God gave to me one night as I was praying. It's not something I took and claimed, but it's something that He gave me. In a nutshell, it's my sexuality.
I grew up feeling like a social outsider, and when I discovered pornography & lust, they became a source of comfort and a way to trigger good feelings. When feeling down about myself, I grew to rely on them. As God started healing me from various things, one of the things He did was let me know that He wanted to be my place of true comfort to replace all the needs I had. Then one night He let me know I was confusing some things...
Let's say it bluntly: Yes, God made sexuality, and He made it feel good, and after He made man & woman, He said "It is good!" Yes, sin has degraded a lot of stuff, but often we confuse the good feelings of sexuality with the enemies' distortion. What God has given us, what He has made us with is a gift.
So many of us discover the good feelings with learning distorted sexuality, and we come to think of the feelings as being wrong. But God made us good. He invented sex! Do you think He made a mistake in making it feel so good? No! But He did make it with a sacred purpose -- oneness.
Hmm, as I write this I realize I might get more visitors who come here looking up random keywords! If you are one of those, I want you to know that God has made you a sexual person, but what we've grown up with is not it. I'm telling you that the ultimate eroticism is not sexual feeling, but oneness. When you trust someone and love someone so much, when you learn to put them first and they learn to put you first, too. When you love each other as your Creator made you to love each other. There is nothing like it! Look, God wants to set you free and give you all He made you to be. It might likely involve foregoing some instant gratification, but it's worth it. Don't go for the quick druglike sexuality; Let Him show you the Real Thing, what it's all about. "Purity" doesn't mean the mere absence of the impure. No, no, when Purity is there it's even better than anything you'd ever imagined. It's a positive force, it's strong, and it's all Him. It's what He made. Let Him redefine everything you've ever thought of sex & sexuality. Trust Him, 'cause He put you & me together and knows the deepest parts of us that need comfort & touching.
He gave me the gift of my sexuality one night, and I praise Him for it! In the past I had stolen it, tried taking it, and always felt guilty about it. But for the first time that night I was thankful for it and enjoyed being what I am and who I am as He has created me!
God, You rock! Lord, I hope I've written about this well, about what You've given me and what You've given us all. Help us learn right boundaries, and that commitment is not a cage but a door into greater freedom & joy, even sexual joy. It's a doorway into deeper and more huge feelings which you can't know unless you trust someone and give yourself to that person, and that person gives themselves to you. Jesus, thank You for giving Yourself to us so unselfishly. Thank You for loving us more than loving Your own life. Thank You for the gift of marriage, and thank You for the gift of the sexes. Thank You for clarifying that You haven't made mistakes with our anatomies! Thank You for setting us free from addiction to cheap distortions of the awesome pleasure You made for us to have. Jesus, I place this post all in your hands and ask You to speak to each person who reads this in a responsible way, and to draw them to Yourself and Your love. In Jesus' name, amen.
For further reading, I highly recommend "Sacred Sex" by Tim Alan Gardner.